Tributes to Carol

July, 2005

July 5

I was so honored to be asked to speak at the service celebrating Carol's life. I have adored Carol from the moment I met her. I was so grateful to have had such a enduring and profound professional relationship with her. She was inspiring performer and person and always such a delight to work with.

A year ago - last June - Carol was rehearsing with us at the Kitchen. She was singing in Steppin' Out of the Kitchen - our big annual fund raiser. She complained a little about feeling like she couldn't get the words out. And I remember thinking that I didn't hear anything weird - even though she thought she did. All I heard was that incredible sound that was the voice I loved listening to.

As you may know, I had planned on writing a play specifically for Carol and Erica Steinhagen for the Kitchen Theatre Company this year. I wasn't sure what it was going to be, but our marketing director insisted that I title the play - because she hates marketing anything called "to be announced" -- so I called it Precious Nonsense - from a quote in the G&S play Patience. Carol was looking forward to being in the play and I was banking on her talent and charm to cover up any of my weaknesses as a writer. In August she emailed and said she wasn't sure what was wrong, but she thought she should bow out of the play. That whatever was happening to her might get in the way.

I couldn't believe what she was proposing. ALS was not on my radar screen, but when I did a little research I was horrified. I just refused to accept it. I told her I would work around anything. Unfortunately the diagnosis came quickly and I realized she wouldn't be able to be in the play.

I lost all interest in writing it. I had planned these great scenes between two incredible singers Carol and Erica. So, I just stopped working on it. But the production was scheduled to start rehearsals on December 12.

I spent an evening with Carol and Paul in early November and I still hadn't really started on the play. I just couldn't. It was to be a screwball comedy. There was nothing moving me in that direction. There wasn't a comedy in me. Not without Carol.

That night Carol was slowly eating some soup and I was talking about this and that. She asked me how Precious Nonsense was going. I hemmed and hawed and finally said - "I am not sure I can write it." And she laughed and said - "You have to! No one else will!" I told her how hard it was to think about it without her. We both cried but Carol was so clear about everything. That night she gave me the "go ahead" I needed. In fact, she kind of challenged me saying that she was planning on coming to see it - so it better be good!

I had less than a month to the first rehearsal - but after that evening the play just flew out of me. I cried a lot at the computer when I knew Carol would not be in the role and I changed it completely for another actress/singer...in fact the entire plot changed.

When Carol and Paul came to see the play at a performance we did as a benefit for her - I was thrilled to have her back at the Kitchen Theatre and we all basked in the exquisite humanity of Carol. She was so enthusiastic and so complementary to all the actors. The audience was so inspired by her presence that evening.

I am fairly certain that Carol's sense of our relationship was that of Rachel as mentor and Carol as protege. And, certainly early on I pushed her a lot as her director. But over time, she became, for me, an inspiration. I had such enormous confidence and admiration in her abilities and talent -- I had so many plans to collaborate with her in the future. And, I believe I still will have her as a collaborator in spirit.

I treasure the time I spent with her. I will keep her close to my heart forever and celebrate with joy her exceptional spirit.

My deepest thoughts and empathy are for you and all her family. If there is anything you may think I can help with in the future, please ask.

Rachel Lampert
Artistic Producing Director
Kitchen Theatre Company