Tributes to Carol
Februrary, 2005
February 28
Carol's Team,
I met Carol at the end of my sophomore year at Ithaca College, where I was a music
major. I was living with Christine Williamson and another IC acting student, who'd
decided she'd had enough of us (well, to be honest, it was pretty mutual) and was moving
on to "greener pastures" (um... major euphemism if you know who I'm talking about and
the pastures she went to graze on... but I digress). Christine had a friend from high
school who was interested in being our new housemate, and in walked -- or should I say,
bounced - Carol. A bundle of wholesome beauty, energy and lyrical voice. Carol.
Ok, let's pause for a moment on the wholesome part. I mean, Carol was the most
wholesome person I'd ever met. She looked and acted like the perky actresses that were
hired to play cashiers in Burger King commercials in the 70's. Eventually, I learned that
she had a bit more of an edge to her, which, of course, is why we got along so well. But
the wholesomeness was a bit too much for Christine and I, particularly when Carol
would, say, slam her finger in a draw and exclaim "Oh Gosh!" Sigh... Christine and I
really had our work cut out for us. No, no, Carol, when we hurt ourselves, we say
'Oh S--t!' Under our consistent and patient tutelage, Carol blossomed into black belt
cusser. Exceeded our wildest expectations... really. Ok, Carol, um, I think you've
really got the hang of it, now. Maybe tone it down a bit??!! Richard, Christine's
very-British boyfriend of the time, used to say, in his clipped, Anglo accent, My
God... you've ruined her! She was a perfectly lovely girl, and look what you've
done!
The three of us had an absolute blast living together. Or should I say the four of us, if
you include my beautiful cat Sugie, who was pure white, with 1 blue eye, 1 green eye and
the sweetest temperament in the history of catdom. We miss you, Sugie. So anyway, we
lived as a goofy, giddy threesome for 2 years, first in a living-room-less 2nd
floor apartment on Hudson Street. Weekend mornings meant "Best of Broadway" on the
college radio station... we'd dance around the grubby kitchen, sometimes standing on the
chairs or table, singing along and hamming it up. Then we upgraded to a slightly better
place on Spencer Street. This joint had a living room, but what turned out to be a
slumlord owner who was disinclined to fix either the boiler or the appliances, so at times
the only warm place in the apartment was the freezer. But it didn't dampen the
wonderful experience of living with these talented, spirited women. There was a lot of
laughter in those houses.
I loved the long talks Carol and I had. She taught me about her faith; having been raised
a reform/secular Jew, I only knew of Christians as people who stood on the street
shouting and handing out tracts. Carol simply lived her life and led by example. I will
always think of Ithaca as a place where faith and tolerance can coexist and Carol as the
very embodiment of this principal. If only our country and the world could follow. Let's
hope some day it will.
In the years since college, our visits have always included time at the piano. There's no
greater joy for me than accompanying a wonderful singer. And Carol is a wonderful
singer. Yes, even now. She did not stop singing this year; just not everyone can hear her.
I can. When I play certain songs, I hear her voice and I know just how she would sound.
I encouraged her to try different sounds and she was thrilled. But Carol doesn't know
how much she encouraged me - that she took my direction and complemented me on it
and gave me the confidence to work with other singers. I will carry Carol's voice inside
my head for the rest of my days and be inspired by it in more ways than she will ever
know.
Finally, I need to mention Carol and Paul. My son and I visited with them this past June.
I'd only met Paul once before, at their wedding, so we didn't really get to know each
other. The June visit was special. I was so impressed with them as individuals, as a
couple, as a team. Sure, there was love, warmth, affection, humor... things one would
hope to expect from a recently married couple. But there was also a calm, thoughtful,
mature approach to their marriage that I'm not sure I've ever seen up close before. (Full
disclosure: my parents are married, but not to each other and it took them several tries to
get it right, and sadly neither I nor my brothers have improved upon their track record as
of yet.) What I saw in their home that weekend provided me with the first real, peer role
model of what marriage can be. And now I believe it's possible.
I love you, Carol. Thank you for being in my life.
Tracey Grimaldi
February 27
Carol's Team,
When Carol moved to my neighborhood in 1978, she was everything I always wanted to
be. She was beautiful (and had really long hair--we were both 13!), she could sing,
she could dance, she could act, and she could DRAW! But the amazing thing about her
was that she was the nicest and funniest person as well! Not an arrogant bone in her
body. And with her guidance and confidence in me, I began being cast in the school
plays--finally. She has endured in my heart through the years, although we occasionally
lost touch, because of her sweetness and "just being Carol". Ya gotta love her! She
is someone who makes you feel good, just being around her.
 This
picture was taken of Carol and I at the Ithaca airport, as she was jetting off to
Italy. I will treasure it always!
Lyn Taylor
Hi Kate,
I met Carol many years ago through our mutual friends Katey and Christine. I was instantly
one of her good friends and she mine and even though we haven't lived near each other,
we have stayed in touch and every time we've been together, we've picked up our friendship
exactly where we left off the last time. She has always been full of positive and
loving energy whenever I've been in her presence and it's been an honor to have been
counted as one of her friends.
Bill Brooks
February 25
Dear Kate,
Thank you for everything you are doing for and with Carol. I checked out the Carol's
Team website. Eric is amazing. Something wonderful will come of all this!
These two photos are from 2000, the first year of Women's Works. Maybe someone else
has sent these to you already. I will send stories as soon as I can. [The photo on the left] shows
(left to right) Ruth Roland, Jennie Abrahamson, Kris Park, Jill Becker, Jayne Demakos,
and Carol. The same people are (mostly) easily recognizable in the other, but Jill
is not wearing a mask in that one. These are not the best Women's Works photos.
And now a story for Carol:
I first encountered Carol while playing violin in "Jennie's Will.
Carol was premiering the part of Jennie, and I was taken by her vocal and
physical beauty as well as her acting skill. I could hardly believe it when
a few months later Carol came to me after a performance of Shakespeare's
Twelfth Night to say some very nice things about my acting and violin playing.
It was the start of a rich relationship.
I have always had the kind of full life that sort of goes on without me.
Suddenly it's dinnertime and I haven't had lunch, it's been a year since I
cleaned the bathroom, or I'm on my way to the wedding of two wonderful friends
and I haven't had time to even sign a card for them. I had to leave Carol and
Paul's wedding reception early for a performance, and decided to write out
something for them and drop it off at their apartment a couple days later.
I hoped they would get it when they returned from their honeymoon.
I dashed from my car, slipped the envelope behind the screen door,
and was on my way back down the driveway when I heard someone growl,
"Where do you think you're going?" I looked back and saw Paul,
toothbrush in his mouth, demanding a hug. The newlyweds were just getting
ready to leave, but he dragged me into the apartment to say goodbye to Carol.
Carol came out of the bedroom in her underwear and enfolded me in her bare arms.
That moment exemplified Carol and Paul's generosity, humility, and enormous love.
While Paul stood by beaming, Carol put years of laughter, music-making, hard work,
and encouraging words into that one embrace.
Then she said, "You give the best hugs."
Best wishes,
Ruth Roland
Women's Works
Carol's Team,
One of the attached is a picture of Carol in December in Skaneateles.
The other is of all the Hoochie Mama's, on the same day. We had a "hoochie mama" gathering
there to shop and see the Dickens players.
Carolyn Tomaino
Hi Kate
I have attached several photos of Carol, which I hope you are able to open. They are
all in jpg format. They all represent some good times I've had with Carol.
I have known Carol since 1989. I knew of her since 1987, when she started singing
in Cornell Savoyards productions of Gilbert & Sullivan. I frequently played in
the orchestra for those shows, so I got to know her performances of Rose Maybud in
Ruddigore, Mabel in Pirates of Penzance, and the title role in Patience. When I wrote
my own musical, "Mr. Natural" in 1989, I decided to ask Carol to play the female lead.
She agreed immediately, even against the opposition of her voice teacher (who didn't
like me). Her voice teacher tried numerous ways to get her not to sing in my show,
but she was steadfast in her loyalty. And she didn't even know me very well.
"Mr. Natural" was based on the comic book characters of R. Crumb, and I had to get
his permission to use them. In Mr. Natural she played a character named Ruth Schwartz,
a fat and ugly girl who is the love interest of Flakey Foont. This was her first role
in which she was not the pretty ingenue and she felt some ambiguity about it, but
she painted zits on her face and padded her butt with foam. Eventually I sent the
video of the show to R. Crumb and he wrote back "I have just one burning question
to ask: is Carol's butt padded, or is it real?? If it's real, I want her phone number!!"
R. Crumb has a fetish about big butts. (Eventually Crumb nixed the possibility of
future performances of Mr. Natural).
Carol sang in so many other performances of mine: in 1992 I put on "Mark Simon's Songshow"
with a collection of songs, and at the last moment she devised some choreography for
her and the other singers involved, when it became clear that having them just stand
there and sing was going to look bad. The next year she did a vocal recital and I
played the clarinet with her in Schubert's "Shepherd on the Rock". In 1997 she played
the part of Jennie McGraw in my second musical, "Jennie's Will". Jennie McGraw is
a historical character, an early benefactress to Cornell University who married Cornell's
first librarian Willard Fiske and died of consumption a year and a half later, at
the age of 41. Now I think of the parallels and it seems spooky. The play takes place
within the frame of a dialogue between Willard Fiske and the spirit of Jennie McGraw.
I recently listened to the final scene and heard this bit of dialogue: Willard: "What
gives me the right to place these roses on your grave?" Jennie: "I died loved and
loving. You gave me that." Hearing Carol's voice say that made me burst out crying.
I do think she will be able to say that about her own life. She shouldn't have to
say it so soon.
Carol helped me through some rough times in my life, when I was newly divorced and
depressed much of the time. She gave me good advice and cheered my spirit. She has
made me a stronger and better person.
Thanks
Mark G. Simon
Februrary 24
Carol looks particularly cool in a Joan Jett wig. In fact, she can make any costume
work!
Carol always brings happiness into my life shes the kind of person you want to spend
your time with. I love her like a sister.
From
Joanne LaValle
February 9
Dear Carol's Team,
I'm a member of IHS '83 and remember Carol so well for her beautiful voice and great
stage acting back in the ole' days. We havent been in touch in a while, but I am so
moved by your story and so sorry that she is going through this awful disease. Best
of luck to all the team members and good luck on the Carols Song device. Please keep
me posted on progress/news of the project.
Best Regards, Rebecca Kramnick
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